smilebackwards

additional hostiles in play

2026-05-18T00:06:45Z

Props to this recent phase of fun books that are making me stop doomscrolling and instead read like 200+ pages a day.

Platform Decay by Martha Wells. ( not really spoilers but if you're someone who doesn't even read the blurb which is sometimes me )

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Latest album I'm enjoying. This Is...Icona Pop. Discovered by the I Love It single but the whole thing slaps IMO.

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mongo is appalled

2026-05-16T22:34:45Z

A Parade of Horribles by Matt Dinniman. 1,100 pages?? Sure, I will read that in 3 days. I've been in place #1 on the holds for this book at the library since it was announced but they usually, understandably, take like a week or two to get and library bind new books and put them in circulation so I was checking digital availability on release day and was able to get a copy from Libby. So I downloaded that new app and my ongoing quest to understand the difference between Libby, Kindle, and Hoopla continues. Is Overdrive still a thing? Why so many eBook platforms? Anyway, book received and I enjoyed my time with Carl and Princess Donut and Prepotente and the rest of the squad!

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the debt shall be paid

2026-05-12T02:54:06Z

The Moon is Down by John Steinbeck. This was apparently written as WWII era propaganda for nations that had been invaded by Germany and they translated and secretly printed copies. It's about a fictional town under occupation and how the people clandestinely fight back--escaping, slowing work, general everyday hostility, dynamiting railroad tracks, not giving up, etc. Honestly some of it feels relevant to today with regards to capitalism and the current rise of fascism.

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Mostly I've been catching up on some classic movies I never watched. Memento, The Hurt Locker, Lawrence of Arabia, My Own Private Idaho, Everything Everywhere All at Once. EEAAO was fun and did make me cry over the fucking rocks and the mother/daughter relationship and the 'I would have liked just doing laundry and taxes with you' scene.

Also watched Good Luck Have Fun Don't Die which I enjoyed as a weird timeloop movie. Immediately clocked Dino Fetscher in his bit part but did not realize for the entire movie that Sam Rockwell was the main character. Then I looked up what else Dino Fetscher is in lately and unfortunately I cannot find Welsh detective show Under Salt Marsh anywhere because I would watch that. Will just have to watch him and Ben Daniels in season 2 of Foundation again.

Fandomwise, I'm still trapped in my obsession with Scott and Kip from the hockey show and I made a fic rec list for fun and community service since this is not the ship 99% of the fandom is obsessed with but there is great fic for people to read!

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all that money

2026-05-09T00:29:50Z

This is the perfect Gotham vid to me. I think I stopped watching the show after season 1 because I really only cared about the scraps of Bruce and Alfred they were giving me while the villains got 95% of the screen time. This is like giving me everything I wanted condensed into 3 minutes.

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no myth is safely broken

2026-05-07T03:45:56Z

Nightwood by Djuna Barnes. Hmm, okay, I feel like this was 80% incomprehensible and I was actively resenting my decision to finish reading it but I was maybe into the last couple chapters? There was at least some interesting poetical concepts and phrasing.

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In TV, I finished watching Monarch: Legacy of Monsters (season 2) which continues to be a ridiculous, clunky show about chasing monsters and having family trauma and I love it. flareonfury harpieicons has been making icons so I finally have an icon of my faves, the 50s era squad. I did actually watch the Kong: Skull Island movie (which I think was weak despite Tom Hiddleston and Brie Larson being hot) before this season and it gave some context but wasn't ultimately necessary. Random thoughts ( spoilers )

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a man after midnight

2026-04-30T20:43:23Z

Doing some vid recs as part of the vid_bingo challenge for 3weeks4dreamwidth.

This is a niche genre but I love Star Wars scenes set to incongruous music that nevertheless works in a really fun way! Like, yes, Duel of the Fates is iconic but what if ABBA? :)

And this is what I feel Luke Skywalker and his Chanel boots deserve!

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very beautiful very powerful

2026-04-25T19:54:57Z

Borrowing this game from goodbyebird as part of 3weeks4dreamwidth!

Reply to this post saying 'icon', and I will tell you my favorite icon of yours. Then post this to your own journal using your own favorite icon if you're one of those inhuman things that are actually capable of choosing between ~~YOUR PRECIOUS BABIES!~~ userpics.

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My default/favorite icon remains this John Sheppard one by shadadukal. I love his expression and the way he isn't centered and the blur/stripe on the left. Pretty sure the screencap is from The Defiant One? I used to know for sure. Maybe it's time for another rewatch of season 1... This is also my default AO3 and Discord icon and it would probably be my tumblr one if the sizing was the same there. Instead I have an XMFC Erik Lehnsherr one that I'm very fond of and flipped back to after having it be a Tim Drake one for a good bit. I love icons in general but I always come back to a couple special ones which is typical of me. Don't ask me how long I've had the same background on my phone.

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walk a mile just to move an inch now

2026-04-18T04:08:53Z

I think I was posting on tumblr when I had my music platforms crash out several months ago. To recap, I had to take an upgrade and iTunes was like 'hey, you can no longer access these songs you literally bought from us, so sorry' and then for streaming I was using Amazon Music which has been going through steady enshittification (inability to skip songs, constant shuffle mode so you can't even select the song you want, ads, etc). So I dropped Amazon and I have gone back to my roots with CDs (supplemented by Hoopla, shout out to the public library system). Huge personal win for me a couple weeks ago when I found the exact Third Eye Blind CD that I had the case for but lost the actual disc at a book sale for 50 cents! Also got a classic 3 Doors Down CD with iconic Kryptonite and it reminded me how partial I am to Duck and Run too.

Anyway, I've been listening to some good albums and would love some new recs! These are ones I'd consider high energy that I've been listening to for motivation at the gym.
~EVERYONE'S A STAR! - 5 Seconds of Summer
~Chapter 1: Singles Collection - Peach PRC
~Give Me The Future - Bastille
~Love, Drugs & Misery - Eva Under Fire

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In TV this week, I watched The Fall and Rise of Reggie Dinkins (season 1). As is typical of me, I saw some trailers for this and was like nah, but then I saw a gifset on tumblr and I was like okay, now I'm interested. It's a fun, low stakes mockumentary-type sitcom with a good ensemble and I enjoyed it a lot!

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i am sold twice over

2026-04-14T03:35:41Z

As Meat Loves Salt by Maria McCann. Totally enthralled by this. It was ~600 pages and I read it in less than 4 days kind of enthralled. Extremely well written and gut-wrenching historical fiction set in 1600s England. Tortured, obsessive, unreliable narrator POV character Jacob has an okay life until he burns it to the fucking ground and then he does it all over again, like holy fuck. Described as 'erotic', which is very true, but manages to do it without being explicit. I am wrecked by ( spoilers ) I will be thinking about this one. (So many trigger warnings. Be fully prepared if you consider reading this book.)

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Watched another short series Agatha Christie adaptation Why Didn't They Ask Evans? This one definitely did not telegraph the twists like Seven Dials but almost to the opposite point where I'm like wait, did all the pieces fit together?

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i'm claiming the right to be unhappy

2026-04-10T00:49:10Z

Brave New World by Aldous Huxley. Damn, okay. Disturbingly recognizable dystopia.

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In TV, I finished Shrinking (season 3). Continues to be a solid, funny show. This would have been a good series ending but it sounds like they're already renewed for season 4 so will see where that goes. Fuck Parkinson's.

Also watched Seven Dials which I guess is considered a series despite being just 3 episodes. I think it was fine although none of the twists were surprising. Maybe I've read so much Agatha Christie that the general patterns are recognizable.

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the rule was to choose not to know

2026-03-26T20:07:28Z

Ice by Anna Kavan. Apocalypse via gigantic moving walls of ice while an insane dude chases a girl around the world. This was trippy. None of the characters are named. There are abrupt and seemingly impossible POV shifts. It's very psychological horror to follow this obsessed misogynist and his thought processes. Gives similar psychological/climate horror vibes as J. G. Ballard's The Drowned World and the writing hits.

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In TV, I finished Starfleet Academy (season 1) and apparently they have already cancelled it, boo. Was it a little clunky, sure, but all the characters were really fun! I LOVE my Klingon med student Jay-Den and sunshine War College student Kyle and admiral's daughter Genesis and they all deserve more screen time. This show let me see a Vulcan use the phrase 'eat glass' and Paramount has the audacity to cancel it??

In good news though, I went to see Project Hail Mary and it was a great, hopeful space movie. Might go see it again <3 Also need to find if anyone has made any Rocky icons. He's my new best friend.

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sooner or later somebody was bound to say it

2026-03-08T00:11:46Z

Solaris by Stanislaw Lem. Space explorers are tortured with hallucinations by a semi-sentient alien ocean. This was pretty fucked up and I enjoyed it. Watched the George Clooney film after reading the book and I think the film tried to match the vibe but somehow it was too idk sleek(?) to be appropriately unsettling to me.

[DNF] Dubliners by James Joyce. Series of kind of vaguely dark, disconcerting slice of life short stories set in Dublin. Not enjoying it so I'm DNFing it halfway through.

[DNF] House of the Spirits by Isabel Allende. I'm letting myself DNF this one too unfortunately. This is my second read attempt and I got farther this time but despite magical realism being interesting to me, I just don't care for it. It reminds me of One Hundred Years of Solitude which I was forcing myself through a bit toward the end.

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In TV, I finished Bridgerton (season 4). The first half felt kind of wooden to me but I liked the second half a lot better. Except that they hid a scene at the end of the credits which is annoying to me! (I was trying to remember which other shows I've watched did this and one of them was X-Men '97.) Why do this? Anyway, Francesca has become one of my favorites and I'm excited for the expected continuation of her storyline.

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if you don't love her now you'll be too late

2026-02-13T00:49:21Z

Strong Poison by Dorothy Sayers. I did find Peter more enjoyable in this mystery as many people mentioned. Also liked the introduction of Harriet Vane and Miss Climpson. Feel like I will sporadically continue this series when I don't have other books in my reading queue.

Silverview by John Le Carre. Love a spy novel and Le Carre is always good for it. Apparently this was his final novel. RIP. This book reminded me of the movie Black Bag that came out last year (and I loved) since there are several spy couples that are varying levels of dysfunctional.

Franny and Zooey by J.D. Salinger. Family dynamics and existential angst. Kind of obsessed with the dialogue and turn of phrase in this.

Watching the winter Olympics! Yay figure skating and snowboarding and hockey and all kinds of cool sports!

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it ends where it began

2026-01-18T02:56:24Z

The Unpleasantness at the Bellona Club by Dorothy L. Sayers. Skipped to book 4 for my second try at Lord Peter Wimsey. Again I'm going to say solid but I'm not sold on loving Lord Peter. I am going to try Strong Poison per like a dozen people's recommendation. I did really like ( several things about this! )

The Everlasting by Alix E. Harrow. LOVED THIS <3 The prose was so good and there was so much yearning and devotion and tragedy and it had time travel/time loop and academia and fighting fascism and personally I love second person so the first/second person POV was very enjoyable and it had swap POV of the (mostly) same events and secret code and dragons!? I could go on. I feel like this was written with me in mind.

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2025 books round up

2025-12-30T19:20:18Z

O Pioneers! by Willa Cather. Slice of life in the settlement and farming of Nebraska. This has lovely writing and I really liked it except for the souring I felt at the end. ( spoilers )

This is probably the last book I'll finish in 2025 so, to count up. Total books read in 2025: 48! Or 49 I suppose if I count a book I read for work. So close to 50. This was a really good reading year for me although it corresponded to a not great writing year. Particular favorites were everything by Charlotte Bronte, John Steinbeck, and Octavia Butler, The Blue Castle, and the Dungeon Crawler Carl series.

Time for me to start my annual Lord of the Rings re-watch. Hope everyone has a good new year's!

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put the biscuit in the basket

2025-12-26T20:19:20Z

Hockey season. I do watch actual hockey as one of the only sports I don't find unforgivably boring but this month has also been hockey media.

Half my tumblr dashboard became obsessed with the new gay hockey show Heated Rivalry so I was like 'okay, I will try it' and yeah, it gave me feelings. I am, however, like the 1% of fandom that cares way more about Scott and Kip than Shane and Ilya. I've watched episodes 3 and 5 multiple times. After episode 3 I also decided I was going to read the Scott/Kip book so:

Game Changers by Rachel Reid. This reads like what I imagine hockey RPF fic to be like. Book Kip is annoying to me but I love show Kip. Overall I think the show hugely elevated the source material.

I will now begin my annual Christmas to New Year's vegetating phase :)

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it kills me to be forgotten

2025-12-19T03:56:50Z

Villette by Charlotte Bronte. The level of emotional repression in this!! I love it. Last page made me scream at Charlotte Bronte's ghost. I do wish I'd kept Google translate at my side as I read it. There was a good amount of French dialogue that I only absorbed contextually.

And in TV, I watched My Adventures with Superman (season 2) which continues to be very fun and cute.

How is it only 1 week til Christmas?! I am not prepared.

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Elf Meme Wishlist

2025-12-05T17:12:51Z

Snagging from sweettartheart!

( Guidelines )

1. Red Robin trade paperbacks! These have been out of print for awhile and I constantly scour the graphic novels section of used book shops to no avail. I'm looking for Red Robin vol 2: Collision and Red Robin vol 4: 7 Days of Death. They look like this.

2. Ideas for family blind gift swap. Something with mass appeal for approximately $20.

3. Fun, delicious cocktail recipes that use rum or vodka.

4. I'm in a classic literature reading phase. Recommend me your favorite classic book.

5. Music recommendations. Preferably artist or album level. I'm dropping streaming and reverting to old school CDs and hoopla. I mostly like alternative/pop/rock but I'll try whatever!

6. Rec your favorite Stargate fics on stargateficrec!

7. Plant advice. I'd like to plant some cheerful but very low maintenance flowers and/or get a few indoor plants next year. Like the easiest possible things you can think of. I have an extremely black thumb.

8. Comments on my fics! I am having a struggle of a writing year and would love the encouragement of comments.

9. Play my fic rec ask game :)

10. Visit your local library ♥

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Fic Rec Ask Game

2025-12-04T22:53:38Z

Today for rec_cember I am bringing back a fic rec ask game I made this summer! Would also love to see people post to their own journals and give their own recs if so inclined :)

Comment with a number and I will give you a fic rec.

1. Recommend a fic that lives in your brain rent free.
2. Recommend a fic that is not posted on AO3.
3. Recommend fic that is less than 5,000 words.
4. Recommend a fic that is over 50,000 words.
5. Recommend a gen fic (no pairings).
6. Recommend a fic that does something cool with format or structure (epistolary, social media, 5 things, non-linear, etc.)
7. Recommend a fic that uses a trope you love.
8. Recommend a fic with an interesting premise/concept.
9. Recommend a fic from a book fandom.
10. Recommend a fic that is more than 10 years old.
11. Recommend a fic you think is a hidden gem/deserves more reads.
12. Recommend a fic that formed or changed your opinion on something (characterization, backstory, relationship, etc.)
13. Recommend a fic you've re-read multiple times.
14. Recommend your favorite fic.
15. Recommend any fic of your choice.

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Vid Recs!

2025-12-01T22:27:28Z

It's time for rec_cember and I am starting off with some vid recs!

Sometimes a vid is not just a great vid but also introduces you to a new favorite song that gets added to your repeat playlist and becomes forever inextricable from the vid. Or that happens to me at least. Here are 11 vids that did that to me.

Autoclave - Due South by blessyouwatson (paramountie). Most recent instance of this. (Comment on AO3!)

Sorrow - Captain America by Trelkez. I think this was my first introduction to The National and I love The National.

( more under the cut! )

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you have failed this city

2025-11-25T03:03:21Z

Kidnapped by Robert Louis Stevenson. Adventures in the Scottish Highlands.

Queen Demon by Martha Wells. Always love Martha Wells' emotionally repressed protagonist voice. Is it wrong that my favorite part of this was the feral, claw-hooved omnivorous Arike horses? <3

In TV, I re-watched Arrow (season 1) and yes it is a silly show but I do really enjoy season 1 where Oliver is just going around shooting people with arrows and we get the Slade and Oliver relationship before everything goes fully insane. I watched the show for them and then season 2 betrayed me so bad! Literally considering a sequel to my now 8-year-old season 1 AU fic where everyone lives and stays friends. Also, shout out to Chris GM51 who collected the flashback scenes into a YouTube playlist so I can just watch the backstory.

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my heart's an autoclave

2025-11-11T22:25:19Z

Whose Body? by Dorothy L. Sayers. Book 1 of the Lord Peter Wimsey mysteries series. I've been considering reading these for awhile and this was solid but I feel maybe over-hyped. It took me until the last quarter to really get into it. That said, the detail of Lord Peter having shell-shock from WWI added a lot and the conclusion was good. I may read some more but not immediately.

In TV, I finished:

Slow Horses (season 5). Always enjoy my dumbass incompetent spies--except River is on thin ice to me in the final episode regarding his insane lack of self-awareness. Not perhaps my favorite season but I think that will remain season 4 because the focus on River and his grandfather appealed to me.

Great British Baking Show (season 13). Nice bakers making nice things <3

In other news, I am signed up for rec_cember so prepare for some vid and fic recs from me in December!

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leave the gun, take the cannoli

2025-10-31T00:44:42Z

Accidentally in my mob media era.

Only Murders in the Building (season 3). This season had a mob angle and there were references to The Godfather so I was like okay, I will finally watch The Godfather for the first time. (I do think it was good although I don't think I'll watch the sequels.) I continue to enjoy this show for the Charles/Oliver/Mabel shenanigans.

The Penguin (limited series). Vaguely references The Batman so you know it's in continuity and then is essentially a Gotham mob series. Generally good but not groundbreaking IMO. I do enjoy Sofia being hot and unhinged and Colin Farrell being basically unrecognizable. The ending of this should not have been surprising to me in any way because it is very narratively logical and yet ( spoilers ) Also good soundtrack.

X-Men Remix continued this year and while I now mostly avoid exchanges there was also a no pressure Madness collection so I looked through the prompts and got very sucked into a Cherik Mob AU--The Associates by ikeracity and Pangea--and wrote a quick remix for that. My writing output this year has been so low. I haven't even hit 10k. Need to open my WIPs again and get to work.

I was considering watching Daredevil: Born Again despite poor reviews but I think I'm tapped out on mob related stuff for awhile.

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that's a hard no, carl

2025-10-13T02:38:39Z

Cannery Row by John Steinbeck. The library didn't have East of Eden available so I grabbed this Steinbeck instead and it was good. Kind of a collection of slice of life stories set in the same neighborhood. The characters are funny and odd and overall just feel real in a way that's hard to describe.

This Inevitable Ruin by Matt Dinniman. Latest Dungeon Crawler Carl book! Continues to be fun and insane. Apparently we are getting book 8 release next year and there is a TV series in the works but now I must wait.

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pick me up and dust me off

2025-09-25T21:35:07Z

Star Wars: Jedi Apprentice: The Day of Reckoning by Jude Watson. Reading old YA Star Wars books in an effort to get my Obi-Wan angst brain back in gear. I stalled out on a fic I started back in January. Someday I'll find the book in this series that has the Melida/Daan backstory we all love and I've absorbed by fandom osmosis.

Despite my attempt to work on the Star Wars fic, I instead started a new XMFC fic for X-Men Remix Madness 2025. Love that Remix fest is still going after all these years.

In other news, I finally upgraded the OS on my laptop which I absolutely hate doing and lo and behold it is Annoying. Oh, now my programs don't work and I have to go download new versions?? And the old versions were better?? If only I could just take the security patches.

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